Sunday, May 9, 2010

My First Professional Sex Solicitation!! Check it...

Dan Stevens to hous-kkxbq-172.
show details May 4 (5 days ago)

I will be honest so dont yell at me if you dont like the offer. i am a 36/m/divorced with 2 boys ages 4 and 6. i can use help around the house as well as friendly benifits a few times a week. this would be on the basis of you being my discreet gf. I am not paying for sex.I am willing to let the person stay in my in law suite for rent free. it is a 2 bedroom and has a seperate bath, kitchen, living room. also there would be a salary for the right person depending on how much they would help.If you could help out for 2 hrs a day, i would pay you 1000 a month cash. if this sounds good so far, email me back...i also have pictures of it. send a pic, ill return

This email was sent to yours truly in response to the following CL ad that I posted while looking into options for temporary housing in my new place of residence:

My husband and I own a professional pet care company in Los Angeles. We are going to be making a move to Maui because my husband is a marine biologist and has just accepted a job with the Pacific Whale Foundation. We are going to need a temporary place to stay at the end of May for about a month until we find a more permanent situation. We would love to provide FREE pet care for your pets (dogs, cats, birds, fish or all of the above!) in exchange for letting us stay in your home. Presumably you would be traveling somewhere and would need our help caring for your animals. I would be at home most of the day because I run the pet care business from my computer so your dog or cat would get plenty of TLC! And for FREE!! We are a very reputable, insured and professional company who have been in business in LA for almost 6 years. We will be happy to send you additional information if you are interested. Also we can arrange a phone interview (or better yet, Skype). Pet care references are available upon request! We look forward to hearing from you. Please tell us about your location and your pets and what dates you will be away. Mark and Laurel.

Now either this perv did not read my original ad carefully or he is hoping he can arrange some Indecent Proposal situation with Mark and I. However $1000 is a far cry from $1M! I think I will respond back to him with the following. Let me know what you think!

Dear Dan:
I am excited to hear about the opportunity to "help out around your house" and provide to you "friendly benefits" two hours per day. Of course you are not paying for sex...nevermind the $1000 cash per month. I realize that will be our little secret. ;) I know I mentioned my husband in your ad (perhaps he can stay in the garage?) but I won't tell him about the sex part...instead I will tell him that I am simply tutoring your young boys with their schoolwork. Some people would find it horrifying that you have a live-in prostitute living amongst your 4 and 6 year old children but I think it is a great example to set for your boys at a young age on how women should be treated. Good for you! In the meantime I have attached a picture of myself so you can picture what it will be like seeing me both clean your toilet and rub my naked body all over you at your whim. All for only about $25 an hour! I am good at math too see? Can't wait to meet in person. Laurel (a.k.a. "Boris")


No comments: